My Mother the Socializer

In the womb my mother expected me to be nothing less than what every mother expects from their child. She envisioned me as an adorable angel that was the greatest gift life could ever give her. As for the values and lessons she expected to teach me to shape me into who she wanted me to be, that was a much longer list. My mother wished me to be kind, compassionate, and considerate. Over the years she has taught me to be open minded, authentic and respectful. She has tried for years to drill into my head the mediocrity is not a goal it is stepping stone as a push the envelope and work for all my goals. Most of the these have been entered into my life from such a young age I feel as if they are a part of me. But, there are many lessons she continues to teach that still haven't quite caught on yet such as being thorough (a word a have come to abhor due to her application of it in every situation possible), being a better planner, and biggest of all not procrastinating. I haven't mastered any of these to say the least, but I continue to be reminded of them. My family is not as tight as other families may be. We don't have a lot of large traditions but rather small ones that are so integrated into our lives we barely even notice them anymore. My parents and I always have to hold hands on take off and landing. And at landing, my mom and I always try and look out the window of the plane, gauge the time, and count down to see how close we are to when the plane actually touches down. Other traditions like going to temple during the high holidays and breaking the fast of Yom Kippur are less traditions, at least in my mind, and are more of obligations, yet my mother sees continuing judaism as a tradition, probably the most important. As for my personality, I was reminded that as a child I used to say, "I have my dad's body and my mom's attitude" meaning, though my metabolism wasn't as quick as it should have been, I made up for it with my exuberant personality. My mother passed on her need to be in control and impulsiveness to me, though if I had to pick, I would have wanted her ability to never be embarrassed. And from my dad, I got my AWFUL sense of humor, a small puns sets me laughing for a good while, and his uncanny ability to reign in emotions and become calm in a matter of seconds. What my mom describes as an unhealthy suppression of emotion, I would describe as a strength in the way that I don't tend to be extremely angry about things. Throughout this interview, I didn't seem to learn anything I didn't already know about my mother and my socialization. For every situation my mother has a lesson and for every event my mother can tie it back to judaism, so forgetting about what socialized me is like asking a child to think about nothing, difficult and next to impossible.

Found: Lost Boy of Sudan

Though I had seen this documentary once previously, I still found myself seeing new things and taking the same stance on it. Seeing the boys having the world the knew ripped out from under them and placed into the meat grinder we call America was gut wrenching for me. I saw the culture shock they went through and the extent they went to, to preserve their culture that was quickly being replaced by american customs. The food they eat, the clothes they wear, their daily schedules were all americanized. The older members of the Lost Boys were more adamant in preserving the culture of Sudan while the younger member completely conformed to their new society, almost entirely leaving behind their home. I found myself feeling a sense of loss for the younger boys as they rejected one of the things that made them who they are. Through out the movie, I placed myself in their shoes. Through the culture shock, the hard work, the confrontation with the police. I was realized how strong these men are that they could handle and even thrive in a culture so completely different from there own. I believe I wouldn't have been able to survive the severe alteration in societies; I think I would have crumbled under the pressure of so many new things and new rules. I admire these boys for going to America for more opportunities and the good of the community. Though passing them on the street most would consider them, 'low class', they possess something that most americans don't have, a selflessness to do what needs to be done no matter the cost.

It's Anyone's Game

There is simple card game that can alter anyone's perspective of culture within five minutes.  What I thought was going to be tournament to assess each person's personal patience and inner pride, turned out to be a frustrating test of each person's ethnocentricity. Placed in groups, each student was required to learn a card game, the rules, the restrictions, the trumps. After running through the game quite thoroughly and attempting a few practice rounds, we were ready to move on to the competition portion of the game. The only rule, no talking. I didn't have a problem at first, I got a lucky hand (all hearts, the trump card). After playing a few rounds, I gathered up my winning hands and counted them out in comparison to the other players at my table. Seeing as I won, I was instructed to shift over one table clockwise. As I sat at the next table, I exchanged silent smiles with my new opponents and took a seat. The cards were dealt out and the game commenced. At the first hand, I noticed something... different, about this game. I was the first to place my card down, I placed down a heart, the other three players placed down cards of other suits. Since hearts trump all, no matter what, I moved my hand towards the cards to claiming my winnings. I was beat to it. As one of the other players swiped the hand off the table I stopped her. Trying to motion as descriptively as possible, I tried to explain that hearts trumped everything and therefore I won the cards. The more agitated all of us got the more we began to try and silently communicate. Finally, we were put to rest as the teacher called our attention back to the front. Apparently, each table was given a different trump and when we switched tables our trumps clashed. Just like when you go to a new place, your customs/trumps may not coincide with other's customs/trumps. When barriers such as language stand in the way of explaining why you did what you did, things can get messy. I was frustrated by the difficulty for my opponents and I to communicate. In reality, people react one of three ways to this sort of situation. One can either take the path of ethnocentrism and think the person you are with is wrong and must follow how you do things because that is the only right way. One can go into culture shock and be unsure of how to react.  Or one can understand the other person's culture, their different customs and accept the way they are. Although I understood where the stigmatize was coming from, what I was most frustrated about was the lack of ability to communicate. But that's how it is in the real world. Two people with clashing customs most likely don't speak the same language, making it difficult to explain their differences. I wasn't angry with my other opponents differences in their game rules, I was frustrated by the incapacity to communicate. We are always told to talk it out, but how can you do that without a common language.